Surrender the Outcome.
Maybe I can fix myself.
Maybe I can’t.
I need to believe in the option that makes life worth living.
My life has always been something to endure. Family life doesn’t give me gratification, friends rarely give me something to feel good about.
Dating feels good at first, but then I stop caring. I keep pretending.
I keep pretending, maybe something will change.
I start feeling again. But it doesn’t last. Feelings come in bursts. I feel good about something 10% of the time. 90% of the time is me keeping a “predictable” outcome.
But I will improve.
I must believe that at least.
[50 minutes later]
Well, after singing in the shower everything seems alright and I was just dramatizing my life too much.
Here is a potato.