10 Motivational Quotes That Don't Mean a Thing

A personal list of my favourite motivational quotes that don’t mean anything.

1 – “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

What is that supposed to mean?

I mean you could use this clever word play with anything. And it would sound profound.

wife: babe take out the trash…

me: I hate taking out the trash babe

wife : if you change the way you take out the trash ..the way you take out the trash change…

2 – “No one ever dies from a snake bite. It’s the venom that keeps spreading in the body that kills the person”

Deep bro. How about this one: Nobody dies from a gunshot to the chest, they die because they bleed to death.

What is the fuckin point.

What is the point?

No shit sherlock.

Bullshit I say. Fuckin Dr. Wayne Dyer.

3 – Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Tell that to people with Alzheimers.

4 – Shoot for the moon. Even if you fail, you’ll land among the stars.

That is just lazy writing right there.

Land… among the starts.

Bitch do you know that over 90% of the universe isn’t the stars, or the moon?

I bet you never talked to a NASA scientist.

“Oh, too bad we missed the moon, now we just wait to land on a star”.

‘Are you fucking insane?’

“Not fucking anyone at the moment. But hey, if you want some, shoot away ;)”

I’m not saying anything, this isn’t even funny.

5 – Why do we close our eyes when we PRAY, CRY, DREAM? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen… but felt only by the heart.

Well, this one I agree. Priest Joe taught me that, to learn to feel the holy spirit deep inside my… oh I just realized it wasn’t in my heart. Too bad then.

But I did pray, cry and dream…

6 – Follow your dreams. They know the way.

I once dreamt I was a banana. And all my friends were bananas as well. We only communicated by laughing in different frequencies.

7 – That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

I bet Freddy Mercury was pretty strong during his AIDS period.

8 – One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.

Saddly, Bill Cosby decided to try harder.

9 – You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

But is that the best strategy though? Imagine a Prince walking by your village(I suppose you live in a rural area if you are kissing a lot of frogs).

He sees you. Deep in the mud.

Kissing a frog.

Listen here honey, if you eventually do find a prince while kissing frogs, it’s not gonna be a prince anymore, it’s gonna be a corpse.

Fuckin hell.

Now my favourite of them all.

10 – Do one thing every day that scares you.

Every day.

Every fucking day.

Hear me? Every fucking day.

Afraid of Heights?

Afraid of Death?

Afraid of public speaking?

Then today is the day to fight all of those fears. All at once.

How do people take these things seriously and as a Mantra for their life is beyond me.